Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
