have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
