guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
