im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
