What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
