Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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