Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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