sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
