Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize