We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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