have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My feet surprised me
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