yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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