it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
