Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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