you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
