Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
