Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
