so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
