I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
