drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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