the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
