We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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