We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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