i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
