My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We got so high we made milksteak
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize