Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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