We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
