There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
