i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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