I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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