I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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