just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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