nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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