Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
