So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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