He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
