Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
