i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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