I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
