you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
