i permit you to call me
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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