about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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