your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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