i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
