you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
