What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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