when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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