Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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