As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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