I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
