so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
