she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
