Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
