I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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