hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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