Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
