i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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