First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
