I feel great
I just peed on a car
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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